Ranting Si Dahan Rapuh

Why would someone hope for the impossible? Like expecting people to hear the unspoken words?

Biarlah aku menahan rindu... Sebab angin pun tak mampu sampaikan apa yang aku rasa...

To disconnect... And then reconnect back... Hoping to refresh the network and regain back the speed...

Relationship always involves two. If it is only one, the ship can't seem to relate. Maybe all you can get is a kayak, or a boat. But never a ship. And don't even dream about getting a dream cruise.

The sea looks calm on the surface, But who knows what lies underneath, A shark frenzy, Or a volcanic activity that results in tsunami?

It's time to step up.... Or is it time to step back into the soliditary cave?

إنما الصبر عند الصدمة الأولى... Semoga kita diberikan kesabaran yang banyaaaaaak sekali ye..

When you tought that you are recovering, and things are finally moving towards the better, your world just crush around you and you get sunken again. You don't even know how to ask for help when the water is covering your nose.

They said time heals But how long does it take For the wound to close How much time is needed Before the scar fades off How many visits to the doctor will it take, before we are convinced that the healing process is taking place?

A tough battle between what the heart wants to do versus what the heart really really wants deep inside.

It's a cycle. Over and over again. A neverending loop that goes on and on. Our only hope? That the sky is the limit.

If someone rejects your advances, but then just a few seconds later that someone invites you over, is the invatation real legit? Or is it just out of guilt?

Sorry. I'm no Mr. Fixer. I can't fix what's wrong. I can't make things better. But just so you know, I'm here if you need me. I'm here right by your side. I can't change the world's perception. I can't speak for their mind. But just so you know, I love you from the bottom of my heart. Even if no one else does, I will still be loving you.

Bila emosi kuasai diri, Kesedihan menyelubungi hati, Akal tak berfungsi, Kita mula menunding jari. Hati penuh kemarahan, Akal hilang kewarasan, Mencari setiap kesalahan, Yang pasti, semuanya akan berakhir dengan kekesalan. Stop. Take a deep breath. And think before you make your move.

To love... To be loved... To feel loved... An amazing feeling indeed. 

You don't realise that you are capable of missing someone that much until that person is far from your reach. Also, you won't understand a person's feeling and situation until you're that person's shoes. Jangan macam faham.

Things do change afterall, But not too much, As long as our hearts are still together, I’m happy to be with you still.  Thank you sooo much, my dearest. 

I'm so in love with you And I hope you know Darling your love is more than worth its weight in gold We've come so far my dear Look how we've grown And I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old Just say you won't let go Just say you won’t let go - James Arthur, Say you won’t let go

Bila kita nak terjun dalam air laut, pastikan yang kita tahu macam mana nak berenang. Kalau teman kita tiba-tiba terkapai-kapai dan tenggelam, kita jangan ikut tenggelam sama. Sebaiknya kita kena bertenang dan tarik teman kita supaya hidung dan mulut dia tidak ditutupi air. Pegang badannya rapat dan berenang ke persisiran pantai.  Kadang-kadang, arus air menolak kita jauh ke arah bertentangan. Tapi jangan putus asa. Terus berenang walaupun kaki dah kejang. Asalkan teman kita terselamat. Sebab bila kita berhenti berenang, bererti kita tewas. Dua nyawa akan hilang. 

When words got lost in the midst of the tears, Nothing can be said to make things better, Keeping things to yourself will hurt you deeper, Lots of thoughts will randomly appear, So you’re left there, Helpless.  You can’t even help yourself, so how to help others?

Bila kau sedar yang kau kena kongsi sesuatu yang kau sayang dengan Si Adik.  Tak mudah rupanya eh nak belajar kongsi.  Patutlah budak kecik kadang-kadang tantrum bila dia dapat tahu dia dah jadi abang/kakak. Because you’re not the one and only now. 

The worst feeling is when you found out you’re the one who hurt your loved one most; you’re the one who inflicted the pain physically & emotionally; and you’re the cause of all the agony. 

Nobody said it was easy It's such a shame for us to part Nobody said it was easy No one ever said it would be this hard Oh, take me back to the start Coldplay - The Scientist

A tough battle between the heart and the mind. What your heart wants, Gives you the satisfaction, Fulfil all your desires, You attain happiness.  Sometimes the mind might overthink, Worrying too much, Imagining the non-existent, But not in this matter, I think.  So how to decide the winner? Which guideline to follow? Should we do the Right Thing? Do we need to sacrifice to achieve TRUE HAPPINESS?

When buying a new chair for your work station, you need to ensure that your chair is ergonomic, with good back support.  Sitting for hours while doing your work can be tiring, causing back ache and strain. Good back support reduces the stress on the lower spine and neck, lessening the pain, thus increase your productivity.  Same goes to finding matress for your bed too. Invest more on matress with good back support.  It doesn’t matter when it becomes battered up in the future if it has given your back a good support for a number of years, and cushioned your fall when you fall or make a WWE stunt on it.   A happy day begins with happy body.  A good support create a happy body. 

Loving can hurt, Loving can hurt sometimes, But it's the only thing that I know When it gets hard, You know it can get hard sometimes It is the only thing makes us feel alive Loving can heal, Loving can mend your soul And it's the only thing that I know I swear it will get easier Remember that with every piece of you And it's the only thing we take with us when we die We keep this love in a photograph We made these memories for ourselves Where our eyes are never closing Hearts are never broken And time's forever frozen still So you can keep me Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet You won't ever be alone, And if you hurt me That's okay baby, only words bleed Inside these pages you just hold me And I won’t ever let you go Wait for me to come home

بارك الله لكما وبارك عليكما وجمع بينكما في خير! My Dearest Sayang, Today marks the first day of new phase in your life; accepting a new person in your life, someone whom you call a husband.  Thank you for allowing me to be together with you throughout this wonderful journey. From the first meet with his mother, to the first Bismillah, the first Sadaqallah till the second Bismillah that lead to this Alhamdullah & Amiin ya Rabb.  Not forgetting for keeping me up with all the in betweens, and for bringing me with you to the meet ups.  We’ve learnt a lot these few years of being together; How to embrace loss, How to learn how to tolerate, How to earn a win-win situation, How to love and appreciate another person, And more importantly, learning that everything happens for a reason.  There is no such thing as coincidence.  Same goes to us.  There is a reason why we met, why we fell in love with each other. I hope he treats you well. Because you deserve it....

To keep it together.  For just another 25 hours.  Then.  What’s next?

November 1st.  First.  Every firsts is an important memory.  The first impression.  The first favour.  The first task & working together.  The first “fight” & long messages.  The first group outings & overseas trip.  The first personal stories shared.  The first dinner date.  The first “couple” trip.  The first touch, caress & kiss.  The first step to opening up to each other.  The first adventure.  The first embarrassing moment.  The first draft.  The first exploration.  The first S2S.  The first T2T The first voyage.  The first flight high up to the sky.  The first tear from the corner of the eye.  The first step out of comfort zone.  The first change to the status.  There’s more to the list, And lots more to come in the future.  I’m glad that I met you.  To always have you.  To have the same feelings as you.  To be able to do those thi...

It’s totally a different thing.  Telling your mind to do it.  Convincing yourself that you can do it.  Actually doing it. 

It’s funny when we are actually competing about who knows that person the best, without actually admitting it.  We are pushing the crown to the other person, but without the intention of letting it go.  But hey,  I really mean it when I say I know My Sayang.  Coz if I don’t know, I won’t say anything. Trust me.  I know. 

Q: How far can you push someone before he finally falls off the bed? A: Depends on the size of the bed.  Single vs King size bed. The difference between the two is almost double, if not more.  Q: Is it painful if you fall off the bed? A: Depends on the height of the bed frame.  Floor bed vs Bunk bed. One is just a jolt from a deep sleep, and the other could leave you with a broken arm. 

Opening a wound comes with a risk.  It may not yet healed, or worse, infected. Picking on a scab causes you to bleed.  And reminds of that forgotten pain.  Pain.  That’s why you need distractions.  To divert away your attention. Let’s hope it does not leave any scar when it heals. Or at least we hope it is not somewhere that can be seen. 

It’s like a ticking time bomb.  Waiting for an explosion.  You need to be quick.  Time is running out.  Every minute counts.  Yet your feet is glued to the ground.  Immobile.  Guarding what’s left behind.  Held back by all the memories.  Not willing to let it go.  Because you’re not sure if it’s all going to fade.  Once the time bomb goes off. 

The moment is short-lived.  But the memory stays forever.  Falling back into old habits soon.  But things might not be the same anymore. 

We hate it when someone hurt the one we love. But we are also doing the same without us realising it. And it usually hurts even more.  We can put back a broken vase together. But will always see the crack. It’s there forever.  No sorry can ever make up to it. 

Tak semua baik tu bagus, Dan tak semua yang bagus tu baik.  Tak semua yang indah tu tak bercacatnya, Dan yang cacat tak semestinya tak indah.  Yang dipuja Taj Mahal atas kecintaan dia kepada isteri, Tapi penderitaan dia tak siapa tahu.  

Sometimes it is much easier if you don’t remember things. It makes you not hung up over a matter for too long. You can move on.  Sometimes it is much easier if you don’t know things. Because they said, ignorance is a bliss. The lesser you know, the less you’re hurt.  But most of the times, you just have to suck it up and face it. No matter how much you dislike it.  Rules are meant to be broken.  Promises are meant to be broken.  Words are just meaningless without intent and follow through.  Sometimes, we say without meaning it.  Sometimes, we say without thinking.  If you don’t fall, you’ll never learn how to get up. 

Bila kau hanya menunggu sesuatu yg tak kunjung tiba... ...adakah penantian itu suatu yang sia-sia? Memang benar, Penantian itu suatu penyiksaan.  But good things come to those who wait. 

When that one person knows just what you need.  When your mood is down.  When your world just turns around.  When your heart just can’t keep calm.  Reassuarance.  Constant. Persistent.  Thank you, sayang. 

When you feel like scolding every single person in the room, everything just feels like its not happening the way you want it to be and even the smallest things irritate you... All I need is a break. All I need is ...

The key to avoiding disappointment is not to put too much hope, not to care too much.  Only then you get to keep that heart safe in that glass case. 

Maybe it’s just my fault.. For not expressing my own feelings For not spilling out what my heart wants For not sharing my desires For not showing how much you mean to me For not saying how much I love you For not telling you my insecurities For not being sane today.. For acting the way I was...

The car is travelling too fast for your comfort.  You’re being left behind.  So you took a bike to chase it.  Then you asked the car to slow down.  Once you caught up, you travelled in the same speed as the car.  Or at least the car thought so.  Coz suddenly you took a turn and sped off.  Leaving the car behind, clueless. 

Actually it was nothing to be torn about The answer was crystal clear There was not even other option  There was no such thing as making decision Because I know what my heart wants, What my heart will always choose.  It’s only you, sayang.  Please stay with me always. 

A: What I have today is waaaay better than what I’ve ever dreamed about.  Meeting you, Loving you, Holding you close to me, All those are some of the most wonderful things that I’ve never ever pictured myself doing it.  We may have started off wrong, But we’re going to make things right.  We may find things difficult, But we’re going to make it seems easy. Because we have each other.  Always.  P/S I’M EXCITED FOR TODAY

When your heart feels like it’s bursting with emotions, filled to the brim with jumbled up words.  It’s like having a sudden increase in the production of the aqueous humour, but there’s no fluid outflow. Trabecular meshwork dysfunction, blocked. Then it causes an increased in the eye pressure that can leads to glaucoma and other complications.  Is there a need for laser PI? Iridectomy? Is timolol needed to be prescribed?  Or will the IOP keeps on increasing such that it causes lots of internal damage?

If you’re stuck while trying to solve an equation, R estart . Then you’ll find that you’re able to see that problem from another dimension.  If the computer system hangs and refuses to respond, Restart . Then there’s a higher chance that the system will work normally afterwards.  If you find yourself down and stuck in turmoils of emotions, Restart . Unwind yourself and untangle those knots in your heart.  Thank you my dearest, for restarting our countdown timer. It’s refreshing now, although it won’t last for long.  P/S I MISS YOU ALREADY

Red. Anger.  Hurt. War. Rejection. Wrong.  🇯🇵.  Too many emotions. Confusion.  Chaos.  But red is also the colour of LOVE & IMPORTANCE.  You told me to survive this.  To stay strong.  I will.  Because I only want the best for you.  If that’s what you want, that’s what I’ll do.   Be selfish, or so you said.  But to me, being selfish is to follow what your heart wants. Not what I want.  I’m still standing strong. I won’t give up on us.  Have a safe trip back home, sayang.  P/S CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU. 

I am afraid if that day were to come.  The day that we are forced to fade. None of us want it to happen.  But circumstances force it to be that way.  Will we succumb to the circumstances? Or will we fight till the very end? Then again, Can we win the fight?

When you’re in no mood to talk about it.  When you’re in no position to talk about it.  Two different meanings.  Yet the outcome is the same.  You don’t like it. You won’t like it.  You just have to accept it. 

Why blame others for your own incapability and limitation?  You probably don’t even deserve the frustrations.  It’s your own fault, isn’t it?

The colour of the gloomy sky this morning, Heavy clouds filled with condensed water vapour, Accompanied by the droplets falling to the ground. That's how grey the feeling is right now. It is not just a normal shirt. The cloth was supposed to hug me while I sleep. The scent was left there to lull me to sleep. Countless night was involved to make the scent stay. Not counting the arguments and fights because of it too. But my stupidity, my carelessness, Just made it all the effort disappear. As though I didn’t treasure it. I am so sorry, sayang. P/S I WANT YOU HERE WITH ME

Today, it’s Monday blues. My said-to-be favourite colour, according to you. Coz i wore lots of pink too.  You used to keep Blue   with you whenever either of us were away. To keep as something to remember me with.  But now it’s left lifeless hanging in my room. Not that it has any life in the first place.  But everytime i wear it, the memory remains. I still feel connected with you, somehow. On the brighter side of things, we have hanky and ice bear now too.  We’re really making memories everywhere, huh?  I know today wasn’t as smooth for you. May tomorrow be a better day for both of us. Stay Strong, Sayang! P/S I MISS YOU Just reminiscing those days we travelled together. I look forward to our next trip. 

The moment we’ve been waiting for is finally here, but it’s not something that we look forward to.  10 nights without seeing you.  I hope this countdown ends REAL SOON.  I’m wearing purple today.  Coz that’s your favourite.  Coz purple is the colour of room.  Coz purple reminds me of our time together. Coz  Purple  is lying on your bed at this moment.  But all I want is to lie down with you.  For now I’ll wait till that day arrives.  Enjoy your trip, sayang.  P/S  I LOVE YOU

A single word; with lots of hidden meaning to it, filled with emotions & feelings.  A simple expression; yet it covers every aspect of things.  & the rest is left unspoken...

Have you ever wondered if that FRAGILE sticker even have any meaning to it? Are those parcels and packages really being hadled really well, and not treated just like any other boxes ? Do the cargo staff or the courier guy even bother about it?

...and you just wonder what happened, where did you go wrong, and how could you let yourself do such mistakes... Then you can hear the cracking sounds too... Something just broke...

Bila apa yang kita buat, tak selaras dengan apa yang kita cakap.... ...memang dia akan mengelirukan.  Diri sendiri. Dan orang sekeliling. 

Often, we are afraid of the unknown.  The uncertainity of what’s prepared for us.  It may be a pleasant surprise, Or it might just be a total #%!? But one thing for sure, we are taking our own sweet time, enjoying every bits of what we have left so as not to think about what’s in it for us in the future.  And that.....is what we call it as IN DENIAL. 

When you get to meet someone, Who is just like you, Who has the same interest as you, Who dont enjoy shopping yet can spend hours in mall spending on titbits, foodies and junkies, Who loves to spend free time lying on bed, Who truly enjoy sleeping, It’s like you’ve found your other half.  Thank you for the wonderful time together, It’s a perfect agenda for my off day.  Although the day did end pretty rough, We did create another memory though. 

Kadang-kadang mata ni dengki sikit Bila kita boleh tidur, dia taknak Bila dah kena bangun, ngantuk lah pulak Time’s up. 

Self-hatred.  Self-destruct.  When the tongue moves faster than the brain.  When the fingers type faster than a plane.  It’s too deafening.  Life-threatening.  And the idea of having to separate again is definitely not helping. 

Verse #1 Tunggu dengar dahulu Jangan begitu dan berlalu Mungkin kau juga tahu  Cerita dulu tentang hidupku Namun itu ceritaku Sewaktu hati bagai batu Kamu juga pasti ada kisahmu dulu Yang dah lalu biar berlalu Tak perlu paranoid gadis Verse #2 Jangan menilai dulu Jangan terburu, beri waktu Biar ku jadikan mu Satunya ratu dalam hidupku Kerna kini ku tak mahu Menyakiti dan disakiti Kamu juga pasti ada kisahmu dulu Yang dah lalu biar berlalu Tak perlu paranoid gadis These 2 verses of the song, perfectly describe what people who overthinks and insecure feels like.  Sometimes we are too focused on what happened in the past, we failed to see the greatness and privileges you currently have. Something that no other people have earn or own it before. That exclusiveness.  Everyone have their own past.  History is important because that became a reason for you to be stronger now.  But the present is more important because that’s the one who keeps you going and keep staying...

Sometimes we don’t need to say the correct word to express our feelings. Coz the wrong words are actually the correct words to be used in that situation.  Most of the times, we don’t need say the correct words. Just a tight hug, few kisses and some skin to skin touch is enough. Let silence fills the air, express our worries, soothe our insecurities and fix what’s broken in us.  All is well. 

It’s not easy. The feeling that I got when I see you leave,  Then soon be the one leaving , Then being left behind, Then leave again And then being left behind again for the longest time ever But I hope All is Well Coz at the end of this roller coaster period You’ll come back to me.. Am i right ??? . . . . . You will, won’t you?

Home is where your heart belongs.  And when you get to see your loved ones, even from their back, it’s enough.  You don’t need more than that. 

🎶 Saat ku tahu kau akan pergi jauh Izinkan aku untuk selalu menantimu Untuk katakan ku ingin dirimu Agar kau tahu betapa ku terlalu mencintaimu Aku akan menunggu Hingga dirimu kembali untukku Berikan cintamu juga sayangmu Percaya padaku Ku kan menjagamu Hingga akhir waktu menjemputku Ku berikan cinta ku juga sayang ku Percaya padaku Ku kan menjagamu Hingga akhir waktu menjemputku 🎶

🎶 Kau bukan yang pertama Bukan jua kedua Kau hanya yang terkini Terakhir dan selamanya 🎶 - Bukan yang pertama, Faizal tahir.  I know the first three lines is true.  But the last sentence? I’m not so sure.  Curiosity killed a cat. 

I was supposed to paint your wall with purple But instead, I painted your Purple with a piece of me.  Let’s just treasure the memories Keep me in your heart, always

🎶 Spent 24 hours I need more hours with you You spent the weekend Getting even, ooh ooh We spent the late nights Making things right, between us 🎶 'Cause girls like you Run around with girls like me 'Til sundown, when I come through I need a girl like you 😊

At one point of time, it feels like you have till forever to do things together. But suddenly you come to realise that it is taking too long to reach forever.  The clock keeps ticking. You are racing against time, and you know that you are not going to win. 

You know you’re with the best company when a 10mins nap feels like the best sleep you’ve ever had. Be it in a moving car, or sitting on that uncomfortable seat in a small plane. When you have the best person by your side, eveything else doesn’t matter.  My dear, Thank you for this wonderful trip.  Even though we were both clueless on what to be done there.  But we got ALL   that we want.  Almost everything, I guess.  I look forward to more trips and adventures with you.  We’ll fight this through together.  I’ll always be here whenever you need me.  Hold on tight.  Don’t let go of our hands.  Don’t stop loving us.  With love, Your sayang. 

Sure it doesn’t feel that good to be back to reality.  But you gotta suck it up.  As per what was said.  “I have to go back to her” Ouch! You don’t have to rub salt to the wounds.  I know my place, alright? Hope this separation anxiety won’t be worse than the last time.  I hope you’re doing fine tonight, sayang.  I know I have a special place in your heart But this show that reality is not as what we’d like it to be.  Well, reality hurts. 

There will come a situation when you try to be the understanding one; holding back your feelings and hurting yourself, with the hope that your significant other will be protected from any form of harm or agony.  Then, in actual fact you end up hurting both hearts and leaving the both of you in anguish and suffering.  So at the end of the day, whose heart are we protecting anyway?

Time.  The most precious thing you ever have.  Too expensive.  Coz you can’t buy it with money nor with all the wealth you have on earth.  What you have lost, you can’t gain it back.  But what you don’t know what is yet to come So all you can do is to plan to utilise it well in the future.  It’s priceless.  So when I push aside everything to spend my precious time with you, it means you’re precious too. In fact, you’re worth more than that.  And when I braced myself and ask you out to spend some time with me... It means that I .... you.

Being idle is definitely not good for the brain and the body. For you and people around you.  Overthinking.  Unnecessary thoughts will kick in.  Don’t lose yourself in such situations.  Coz you will drown deep inside and no one can resuscitate you. The brain is a powerful tool.  But the heart is the weakest link. 

When playing escape games or solving clues, sometimes you need to work backwards so that you can put things to where it belongs.  And only when you know where it belongs, you can arrange things accordingly. Then things will become untangled and you’ll find the escape route.  Along the way, unexpected things may happen. But your keep calm and you’ll be fine. 

Have you ever felt that clench in your heart, whenever you said something that is opposed to what your heart wants, because you don’t want people to get hurt and know that you’re actually fighting with your own mind deep inside. 

Everything in this world is just given to you for a short while. Nothing last forever, and everything will be taken away from you when the time comes.  But do I even have the right to fight against the nature?

The weather can be so unpredictable nowadays. It can be super bright and scorching hot one minute, and then sudden downpour the next minute.  Early winter. Snowing during summer. Unpredictable monsoon winds. Climate changes. Rising sea levels.  Global warming. Just how many things can it lead to. 

Some people wants to go far Some people wants to go fast But for me, I don’t care about the distance or the speed Even the destination does not matter As long as your fingers are interlaced with mine throughout this journey So please stay with me

insecurity ˌɪnsɪˈkjɔːrɪti,ˌɪnsɪˈkjʊərɪti noun 1.  uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence. 2.  the state of being open to danger or threat; lack of protection.

Bila dah terbiasa diberi kemewahan & kesenangan yang melimpah ruah, Hati jadi semakin tamak & tak pernah rasa cukup.  Macam mana nak bendung sikap tamak tu daripada merebak seperti sel-sel barah dalam badan?

Acceleration = speed/time Steeper slope = higher gradient = increased acceleration = need to gain more speed over a period of time But that’s the force required to move up the slope.  When crusing down from a high point, get your foot ready on the break pedal. The speed increases with time due to the gravitational force.  You lose control, you’ll crash. Hard. 

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Being away for this long is more than enough.  Any longer, it’ll become too fond . Huhu! The scent is fading.  The memory is not.  But the pain is accumulating.  The heart feel like it’s tied in knots.  Can July come fast alrd?

You are sleeping in an aircon room with 2 kids; You | Nephew | Niece Only you were covered by a blanket You woke up because you heard some cry You tried to cover your niece with the blanket Then you realised, there was a patch of wetness on it You checked the two of them, neither were wet Nephew was wearing diaper The wet patch doesnt smell stinky, and neither were both of them You went to the washroom It was kinda smelly There were pee on the side on the bowl and around it on the floor too And you were on the edge of peeing Now.  What was that wet patch?  Who peed? Where am I going to sleep, coz they both moved to the centre of the SS bed? 

In this blessed month Blessed with the bestest companion Blessed with the fondest memory  Blessed with awesome feelings & emotions Blessed with delicious food Blessed with great health There is nothing more that I would ask for.  For I am really blessed. 

When your message just couldn’t be understood.  Even when you’ve tried to use all means of language and methods to convey it.  It’s just #%!? I am not the most patient person on earth I am not the most feminine ever And being gentle and soft in conversation has never been part of me  This anger of mine needs to be controlled

We were indecisive.  We were unsure where to go.  But we just did it & explored.  And we got the best.  Hope that applies for our future too. InsyaAllah. 

Silence kills.  No other reaction or reply that is worse than silence.  Silence.  It develops panic attack to the person who breaks the news, or who genuinely wants to know your reply.  2 situations.  One.  A: “Where are you?” Or  “Are you okay?” B:  Silence.  Two.  A: *Breaks news* B: Silence.  Either way, both reactions of B must have caused a Heart Clenching moment for A.  And it must have hurt. Lots.  But my dear, I’m just following the sunnah.   وَمَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ فَلْيَقُلْ خَيْرًا أَوْ لِيَصْمُتْ. [متفق عليه]

Often, when you’re too blinded by hurt, sadness and anger, you’ll tend to forget to look at the positive side of things.  You’ll overlook all the good things that happened to you, the kind treatment that was given to you. You’re too engulfed in your own feelings. Drowned in your own bitterness.  Despite all that had happen, THANK YOU.  For the company,  the sweet memories, the bliss, the pleasures.  Lets not gonna make this small issue jeopardise our joy.  We don’t deserve that sorrow.  Coz we deserve much more. 

dispensable d ɪˈ sp ɛ nsəb(ə)l/ adjective able to be replaced or done without; superfluous.

One of my first notes at the beginning of this relationship: Jangan berpaut pada dahan yang rapuh Sebab kita tak tahu bila dahan itu akan patah Hancur berkecai Tapi buat masa sekarang  Si Dahan Rapuh ni masih lagi bertahan Sebab dia mungkin masih lagi diperlukan Reparo.  Harry Potter is still doing his magic.  And I hope the effect lasts.  #ReminderToSelf

Bila kita tak boleh membantu,  Kita cuma patut diam membatu.  Demi kemaslahatan semua. 

Some things are better left unsaid Lacrimal glands might overwork Hearts will be shattered One broken heart is better than a handful of them And then, the day that “you are not needed anymore” came...

Apparently this year has got a sudden engine upgrade 2018 is zooming past, too fast Suddenly it’s coming to the middle of the year Can somebody just slow down the time? Coz we have so little time left But there are still so many things left on the list We’re trying too hard to squeeze everything in But we’re afraid that it’ll lead to increase in pressure And something might just break at one point of time But taking things slow... Is that even an option now?

Leaving... It’s like making a deep cut on your skin With a sharp knife It hurts and it makes you bleed It takes time to heal If deep enough, it might even leave you with a big scar And that scar will always remind you of what happened But fading... It’s like the erosion made on the rock by the waves of the ocean Through your eyes, it looks the same everyday So gradual, so subtle You won’t even notice the change It doesn’t hurt You don’t bleed, in fact you won’t even feel anything And suddenly one day, it’ll just be forgotten  Things won’t look the same anymore But no one will remember how it used to be before I don’t leave.  I fade away when I’m not needed anymore.  You won’t even notice my absence by then. 

The walls are crumbling down  Should we rebuild the fort? To keep the inhabitants safe To guard the townsfolk from harm.  Behold!  Incoming disaster detected.  Are we strong enough to withold?  Or will we succumb and crushed into pieces?

A new experience An abrupt change of mood Faster than a blink A mixture of feelings Wider than the horizon More than the sands on the beach.  P/S. This is what being idle does to your mind. 

Patah tumbuh, hilang berganti.  Andai tak patahkan yg rapuh,  Bilakah yang baru nak tumbuh? Buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih.  Tapi bila dah tercampur,  Perlu ke buang semuanya sekali?

Bring me to a land where there is no sufferings,  Where the people live in peace, And there is no hurt & crying. Or take me away from this place if I am the source of the agony.  For that, would make my heart at ease. 

It’s amazing that even when we’re separated physically, our hearts remain connected.  The moon is shining bright tonight. Hope you’re doing well and alright.  Have a good night. 

🎵Ternyata benar benar kali ini  Memilih kamu mencintai aku Rahsiakan cinta ini  Tersimpan rendah hingga sampai akhir nanti Biar rasa ini tersimpan untuk aku Kamu saja tahu Biar rasa ini hanya sekadar engkau tahu Aku ada bila perlu Kita saja tahu 🎵🎵

It’s too quiet today.  Staying idle isn’t helping.  The quietness is too deafening.  The boredom is overwhelming.  Somebody. Anybody.  Save me, please.  Take me away.  To somewhere. Anywhere. 

It kinda sucks when you’re needed but you can’t be there.  It hurts when you can’t even make a phone call to say “how are you doing?” And all you can do is standing helplessly at the sidelines, waiting for the news.  You can’t even be there for the person whom you care for.  You can’t even give The Hug when you know that’s what that person needed.  And it hurts even more that even when you’re free from whatever obligations you had, but all you can do is to keep standing there, waiting.  Heart clenching.  Soul ripping.  Feels like you’re just a useless being Can’t even lend a hand when others are in need 🎵Can we still be friends?🎵 🎶Can we be friends??🎶

The grass is always greener on the other side.  We’re busy staring at other people‘s patch of grass, but we failed to see that we’re lying on a whole field of grassland.  Be thankful of what you have.  Embrace the precious fond memories we had together.  We’ll be happier that way.  Thank you, For your time, For the memories, For your abundant love, care & concern, For everything.  They said, good things must come to an end.  But I hope these things between you and me lasts forever.  “I don’t wish for you to be rich, I just want you to have enough.”

Have you ever been in the situation where there is so much to say, yet no words came out. The information is too messed up, you can’t figure out the start. There are too many vocabs to be used, but the sentence came out as gibberish and doesn’t seems to make sense. The noise in the brain is too overwhelming, that in the end only silence can blank it out.  That’s 3am thoughts for you, it goes on and on until the dawn breaks. Then you panic, because it’s time to get up soon, yet you haven’t get your good night sleep.  In actual fact, the thing that you worry about is just some other issue, and these 3am thoughts are just distractions for you. Because the moment we said “lets meet for lunch”, all your worries goes away and you slept peacefully. 

Who knows what lies ahead of us.  Andai ditakdirkan degupan jantung terhenti di sini, walaupun takut sebab amalan kita tak cukup mana lagi. But let me first say thank you for being part of my life. It was short, but we went through the most memorable journey together.  Being with you makes me a human again. To realise that we have feelings. Like how much we can be strong and control our brain, we still have that emotions and emphaty deep within us.  There is no word that can depicts how grateful I am to be a great part in your life, to be the one you look for when you’re happy or sad, to have known the “unknown you”, to have seen what’s on the other side of the wall, to be the one to see your “gedikness”, to be your awla.  Knowing you taught me the meaning of happiness, sadness, anger, frustrations, knowing how to love and feeling of being loved, knowing how to miss someone and being missed and most importantly how to express your feeling towards you...